I have tried my best to not use this blog as a place to vent my frustrations but I am afraid this is one of those postings. The questions people love to ask is "is it harder with four?" I used to always say, not really, but these days I am beginning to think differently. I am realizing that things are getting busier since the kids have started school. Not that school in itself makes my life busy but it also means the kids are getting older and there are endless activities you could or should have your kids participating in. I am feeling pulled in multiple directions but not really making headway. The kids are loving life and love being busy-as do I, I love ballet, gymnastics and soccer and think they are all wonderful but it puts our life on a schedule. Yes, I know they need to work on interacting with kids, and self-esteem but what happened to all our family time? Even Church seems to cut into our time, yet it is something I need along with my kids. Something as simple as reading seems to be scheduled in our day as Bible Blast required reading and study along with school reading and what happened to just reading for fun??? I listen to speakers talking about how we need to teach our children the truths of the bible, counter culture foundations, stuff that is so true and relevant but so overwhelming when I can't even make it to a restaurant without forgetting my wallet! I am realizing I enjoy doing things on my own time and for that I am probably a little selfish, even bible study has taken over time I usually spent running....both of which I need and enjoy. I know life has phases and it's ups and downs. This might be one of those crazy phases but it is one I really do want to enjoy because I just love my kids at this age. But it is hard to enjoy while everything else is pulling us around. And having people give me looks of pity whenever I am out with the kids doesn't help-please SMILE at us, it is really not that bad! I haven't even started on the lack of time for friendships or even spouses...for now I will try to remember that my kids are only this age once and to enjoy every minute with them. But we do need clean clothes at some point and there is just so much dog poop that can be in one's yard-responsibilities never end, I just need to figure out how necessary they really are to ME and not everyone else!
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